egoist

The One that Got Away

2012-01-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

Our English professor read to us this poem. She asked for a volunteer to read it to class again, and I wanted to but I didn't, lest my voice breaks and someone figures out what it means to me. But I'm posting it anyway :3

----

Seven Years, Later, Driving Home
by Justine U. Camacho

It is impossible to fall in love again
for the first time
The first blush, the heart quickening,
racing madly with a secret
these things happen only once
Yesterday, in the car,
only half-listening to a song,
I remembered.
And in my mind, I turned around.
If I had known that I would never
see you again.
If I had known that afternoon in August,
I would have stayed rooted there.
Watching you.
Nineteen yet and dreamy.
I felt the years deaden me, one by one.
And all the headlamps around me blurred.
It was so sweet,
even to feel
that wound again.

----

. . .

2010-06-03T00:00:00.001-07:00

i'm so tired of this. :c

orange hair ~

2010-04-30T20:12:00.001-07:00

if we ever meet again

2010-03-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

What’s somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
Say did you come alone, or did you bring all your friends?
Say what's your name, what you drinkin,
I think I know what you're thinking.
Baby what’s your sign?
Tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.
Say what’s somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
(1, 2, 3, come on!)

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

Oohh, oohh say if we ever meet again

Do you come here much? I swear I’ve seen your face before. (beforeee, yeah)
Hope you don’t see me blush, but I can’t help but want you more, more.
Baby tell me what’s your story, I ain’t shy and don’t you worry.
I’m flirting with my eyes, wanna leave with you tonight.
Do you come here much? I gotta see your face some more.
Some more cause baby I,

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

If we ever meet again, I’ll have so much more to say. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever meet again, I won’t let you go away. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again, I’ll have so much more to say. (if we ever meet again)
If we ever, ever meet again, I won’t let you go away.

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (say if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)

I’ll never be the same (if we ever meet again)
Won’t let you get away (said if we ever meet again)
This freefall (ahh), got me so (ohh), kiss me all night
Don't ever let me go.
I’ll never be the same (say if we ever meet again)

<3 <3 <3

my sweetie

2010-03-22T04:58:00.001-07:00

yup yup :)) lipsynched to MYSELF. still me singing, except it was recorded before the video lol. kk. xDDD

red end

2010-03-20T08:42:00.000-07:00

:3 me likey.

2010-03-10T08:16:00.001-08:00

happy birthday love :"D

kaoru watanabe.1

2010-02-28T00:58:00.000-08:00

i miss this girl.!!
it was her photos that really got me into gyaru waaay back ^_^

you're such a blonde!

2010-02-28T00:54:00.000-08:00

old image, lol. but i really do miss being blonde, school won't allow hair color that's too obvious :( sucks. can't wait for the summer, hoohah!! 8"D

2010-02-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

life is awesome ♥

2010-02-14T05:43:00.001-08:00

:: late post ::

^ interview with Mr. Chun Bong Seo. Thank you for the fun interview :'D

^ I was given a 2NE1 Album and LOTTE Dark Chocolate a few days ago as gifts from Prof. Shim DooBo (Ph.D) and for interviewing me. It reminded me of how lucky and thankful I am, so here are a couple of my favorite kpop-related gifts recently!! Thanks to the Korean Association for my LG phone that I love so much (among many other things ♥) and a TaeYang Album from Rozzie patootie (THANKS FOR SHOWERING US WITH YOUR GIFTS AND PRESENCE :>) so yeah. THANKS LORD <33>'

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS COMPARE US? :))

I remember Jaro-kun going 'WTF' when I told him _ _ _ _ and I have both been called the Philippine BoA (hence the questions about her, [andhatersprobablydon'tkillmelololbecauseithink _ _ _ _ isveryprettyandhardworking]) to which he quickly retorted the funniest statement ever.. "Eh hindi pa abot sa singit ng dede mo yung dancing skills nun eh!!!!"!! I BOW DOWN TO YOU JARO-KUN, THAT WAS A VERY UNIQUE SENTENCE. xD

also, random note: a lady chased me while I was in the bookstore and said 'Miss! I really like your hair! How do you do that?' and we spent like five minutes standing there, me teaching her how to do apple hair the way i do it. :)) Funny. I love life 8D

2010-02-14T05:30:00.000-08:00

//late post :: errrr i kinda failed, he looked more like kwon sang woo in the end xD but i love :3

2009-12-07T00:55:00.000-08:00

Dec. 4 : KyAvii Island

Tired!! I almost died in school, Tricia had to escort me to the clinic to wait for Kyori to pick me up in school to go to UP. If they hadn't picked me up I swear there was no way I'd be able to go (well I could get a cab but yeah) Perf was okay, but I feel bad for not being able to rehearse with Kyori much :< I stole Gio's jacket 'coz I was cold and my actual 'jacket' was useless, and I wasn't able to go to Red's for rehearsals with Nikki and Kune [no sleepover at Bea's :<] I know it's not really much compared to what other people go through but school + interviews + meetings + filming + travel was starting to take its toll on me since I'm a little rusty when it comes to multi-tasking :[

Dec. 5 : Kpop Con

[PS, this is my blog slash diary hence only personal photos will be here so pls don't blame me if you wanted pictures of other people. you can get them someplace else. thank you :3]

Dec. 8 : United Korean Community Association Christmas Party at New World Hotel

Most, if not all, of the guests were Koreans and I was the only Non-Korean performer, so no pressure. Really. Honestly the event where I was most at ease (I mean, you know, despite the incredible fear and possibility of forgetting the lyrics. I DID just decide on the song on the day itself) because the people were super duper nice and friendly. And my table was perfect, I was in the presence of three great performers (who kept offering me bread and Korean cakes 'coz I wouldn't eat by the way. Friendly!) and was beside the post of ... hmm ... uhhhh .. a certain boy who everyone had a crush on at the SHINee event. Yes, the same boy backstage who ... uh.. nevermind :>

Funnily enough, instead of being called the 'Nobody/SHINee girl' like I was at the KPop Idol / Con , I was actually called 'Avii' or ... well someone muttered 'Wondergirls' so I looked and she was like 'You performed at the SHINee concert!! :D'.

Oh the talent fee was just a great bonus, but that made me happy too XD

2009-12-07T00:54:00.000-08:00

60th Philippine-Korean Friendship Anniversary

- Backstage was fun. ♥ I was initially going to ask Jet to come with me but someone might tampo so I asked Jeki, also because she's one of the rare few people I know who really does not care much for mainstream things hence could stay focused and pro! And she helped me calm my nerves backstage, so thank you so much!!

- Isak unni was awesome

Isak : Come near, I won't bite!
Avii : ... can WE bite you? :3

She was very down-to-earth and lovely. And she gave me a hug after the filming of PopsinSeoul!!! Photos with her that day were lost though 'coz Mish' laptop got stolen :< Owell, it would still be in my memory, teehee!! She was also the host at the event so I got to see her again and ... she was still nice and greeted me after my perf. I hope she returns soon! ^_^

- VJ LUIZ!! AISH!! That question was not part of the script XDD Anyway so uhh what I meant was that I was asked to perform Nobody because it's one of the most famous mainstream KPop songs in the world. [I am aware that a lot of us loved Kpop waaaaay before Nobody. BoA fan since 2002, thankyouverymuch :)]

- Lina unni asked to borrow 'my' curling iron for the girl from Winterplay haha. She's sweet :) - Didn't really see much of SHINee except during rehearsals and before they left. MinHo is super tall, and JongHyun's smile is WOAH. It seriously brightened the room as soon as he walked in. That's all I have to say. He didn't seem mean btw [I was asked to confirm if he was by some people but .. no eh :3]

- MIGHTY MOUTH!! ♥ The girl from 'Love Class' was there too (at least I think it was her) and saw me spazzing when we heard Mighty Mouth perf 'Smile' backstage. We didn't get to watch it but..oh well. Next time :)

had dinner afterwards with Kaye and Jeki.
great day. greatttt day. :) ♥♥♥♥♥♥

----------------------------------------------------

Somehow, my words 'Yes, a lot of people like Sandara Park and Wondergirls, and little children dance to Nobody and I Don't Care pretty much every day, haha :3' was translated into "I idolize Sandara Park. I dance everyday"

Hahahahahahaha TT.TT

2009-11-26T04:22:00.000-08:00

crazy, this is.

I've missed so many classes and kyori rehearsals, and every time I'd actually BE in class I'd either be super hyper (i.e. laughing hysterically for the whole period of MATH) or dead. By dead, I mean asleep.

the thing is, I'm more tired because of the traveling and meetings, not rehearsals. I LOVE rehearsals. There doesn't seem to be enough of that though. Arirang had asked me to perform Nobody and wanted girl dancers, which I didn't have because, yeah, it's kind of last minute, and everyone else had their own thing like being in Korea (cough roz. cough.) Teehee :3 Since I was supposedly performing this song a couple of months ago as a surprise finale anyway, I asked Mr. Kim if we could just get the girls I was supposedly performing it with. Soooooo they got the group winners at the singing contest last year. Yes.

Mr. Kim is awesome. He's such a business daddy hahaha! By that I mean strict but nice. :)

...the concert is tomorrow. WHY AM I NOT MORE NERVOUS? ..yet.

boyish-ish... not-very-girly... style.

2009-11-15T22:32:00.000-08:00

Minispam, on request. Err.. because I signed out without saying goodbye the other day haha. XD

Rai's idol, woohoo <3

hair today, gone tomorrow!

2009-11-15T21:11:00.000-08:00

ugh that was such a loser title haha I deserve to be shot.
But not by you. 'Coz I'm sexier than you :"D Sometimes.

Anywayyyy.... MC has kindly informed me to dye my hair a darker color.
I didn't know how to tell them "Well, I have. It just keeps GOING BACK TO BLOND WTF."

WARNING :: This post is full of faces. ...But they're all mine, OHNOEZ.
I shall demonstrate.
Here was my hair during halloween, after I dyed it dark brown.

..Sean (YJ) was right, I DO sort of look like TaeYeon sometimes wtf.

yaaaaaaaaaay fawk haux!! ..i mean, faux hawk o.o

and now it's becoming more blondish again 8D .. i mean.. D:<

The school has given me quite some time to let my hair rest before dyeing it darker so yay ~
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
on a random note, all of a sudden I realized... He's real. He's effing REAL. As real as I am right now (...well, if I'm real)
And so are the others, as I'm soon about to witness. They're real people. They have real stories.
I don't know whether to be happy or to be sad. Wait, I'm Avii. Okay I'll be happy, because ILH :D
And because I shall soon experience a tiny part of their reality.

listening to :: W e d d i n g D r e s s - B a e

Substitute for Love - Madonna

2009-11-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

I traded fame for love
Without a second thought
It all became a silly game
Some things cannot be bought
Got exactly what I asked for
Wanted it so badly
Running, rushing back for more
I suffered fools so gladly

And now I find
I've changed my mind

The face of you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you?
My substitute for love
My substitute for love

I traveled round the world
Looking for a home
I found myself in crowded rooms
Feeling so alone
Had so many lovers
Who settled for the thrill
Of basking in my spotlight
I never felt so happy

The face of you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you?
My substitute for love
My substitute for love

No famous faces, far off places
Trinkets I can buy
No handsome stranger, heady danger
Drug that I can try
No ferris wheel, no heart to steal
No laughter in the dark
No one night stand, no far off land
No fire that I can spark

The face of you
My substitute for love
My substitute for love
Should I wait for you?
My substitute for love
My substitute for love

-----------------------------------------

i can get away with anything just because!!

2009-11-04T02:30:00.000-08:00

I WORE MY MOM'S OLD NIGHT SHIRT TO SCHOOL TODAY.
lol for serious. On a Roz dare :"D
Well AND 'coz this was the first shirt i grabbed from mom's closet.
I'm serious. It's a freaking night shirt. And it's OLD.
May hole pa siya sa side and everything XDDDDD
And then I got bored waiting at the registrar's office and started humming 'Heartbreaker'
by my ever so sexy celebrity twin GD yo!!
He's so conceited. I love him. <3

2009-11-04T02:28:00.000-08:00

I Do Not Hook up
Kelly Clarkson

Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down
You've got too much talent
I see you through those bloodshot eyes
There's a cure, you've found it
Slow motion, sparks
You've caught that chill
Now don't deny it
But boys will be boys
Oh, yes, they will
They don't wanna define it
Just give up the game and get into me
If you're looking for thrills then get cold feet

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight

I can't cook no, but I can clean
Up the mess she left
Lay your head down and feel the beat
As I kiss your forehead
This may not last but this is now
So love the one you're with
You wanna chase but you're chasin' your tail
A quick fix won't ever get you well

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say...

Cause I feel
The distance
Between us
Could be over
With the snap of your finger
Oh no!

Oh, no I do not hook up, up I go slow
So if you want me, I don't come cheap
Keep your hand in my hand,
Your heart on your sleeve
Oh, no I do not hook up, up I fall deep
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say...
Cause the more that you try, the harder I'll fight
To say goodnight

Oh, sweetheart, put the bottle down
Cause you don't wanna miss out

i'm NOT jealous!

2009-11-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

This is in response to my Ballsy Babe Twin's 'I'm jealous' post. :)

I’m not jealous of Roz for her amazing dance skills nor for cavorting around in South Korea for longer than I have.
I’m not jealous of Jeki for her amazing soccer skills and her cozy, uberly modern home and caring parents and driving license.
I’m not jealous of Pin for her intellect, endless talents, and having such amazing leadership skills.
I’m not jealous of Mindy for being multi-talented and living so independently.
I’m not jealous of Trixie for her tailoring and piano-playing skills.
I’m not jealous of Tina for her Snow White skin, beautiful voice and all her musical skills.
I’m not jealous of Mami TeenTin because she’s such a strong person and constantly goes on adventures around the world.
I’m not jealous of Lex for being even more charming and arrogant than I am.
I’m not jealous of Ron for turning out to be a great musician.
I’m not jealous of Cathy unni for being the most adventurous and open-minded person I know.
I’m not jealous of Daphne for her generous and kind spirit and passion for dance.
I’m not jealous of Jussy for her wonderfully weird charm, her Mermaid legs and her singing skills.
I’m not jealous of Mayu for being such an tightass when it comes to graphics and sketching ‘coz she’s really good.
I’m not jealous of Jek for being …tall.
I'm not jealous of YJ for being so independent and free so early in life.
I'm not jealous of Mark for knowing how to play every instrument in the world.
I’m not jealous of Kevin Troy for being … sexy.

I’m not jealous of ANY OF YOU. Rather, I’m HAPPY to be surrounded by such amazing and talented people. Thank you for helping me learn from you. I'm very grateful and I love you all very much ^_^ <3

halloween!!

2009-11-02T01:25:00.000-08:00

Halloween party at my über cool DJ Uncle and his family's flat.

The decorations weren't scary but were still awesome!
Cobwebs everywhere, hand-goblet candle holders, deadly-looking dolls, creepy masks over nightlights .. teh sexy <3>The rest of my relatives [even mum's mom was in REALLY SHINY pants and what I believe was one of MOM's shiny perfy tank tops] are really childlike and tugshtugsh and yes. HAHA.
I love my fun and disturbing family <3

Now for my costume that does not deserve to be called a costume because it wasn't a costume, it was an outfit.

Some of the kids thought I was that girl from Lazy Town :/
I wore the wig for most of the night but removed it after because I didn't even like it, really.
Also because...MY REAL HAIR IS MORE SEXY :'D
+ dress stolen from my little sister's closet. [but i helped pick it out when we bought it]
she was 9 turning 10 when she wore it. it doesn't fit her now :/

kyavii island

2009-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

I jammed today with Kyori!! Learned an FT Island song.
hongki - avii. jaejin - mark. minhwan - louie. jonghun - gio. seunghyun - carlo.
so I guess when we collab we'll be called... KyAvii? according to Sexy Gio.
Seth kept texting about coming but he didn't even arrive. wtf right. haha.
(they) ate mcdo. i only had c2 and a kitkat from carlo XD
(which I then proceeded to feed to everyone else lol)
thanks to Carlo and his mom and driver for taking me back to Katips :)
Didn't get to Oz' house because Jeki had to leave before dinner.
I'm very sad. I miss JOO and Duhbuhyoo.
With the rest of us in S.Korea, California and New Zealand
we probably won't be complete again until 2010-2011. :<
_________________________________

dear Boy,
I hate you for hurting her.
She's an amazing girl. She's smart. She's talented.
She's gifted. She has faith. She's charming. She's giving.
She's loving. She's honest. She's trustworthy.
She's amazing. She's a lot of things.
You're not worthy of her. Get your head out of the gutter, Boy.
And Girl, get over Boy quick please.
We're here for you. We love you. You deserve better.

2009-10-30T07:02:00.001-07:00

"every time I fall, it's you who holds me up with your eyes so full of strength
and every time I feel weak and lonely, it's you who holds my hands until the end"
You and I - 박봄

edited by V. this is NOT the exact translation, I just wanted it to sound a little better in English

I love this song. It's really sweet and sad and happy(but not mushy) at the same time.
Just my type of song. ^_^

October Babies

2009-10-30T06:45:00.001-07:00

Also Noraebang-ed with all these people a week ago.
Joo sarang JOOSEYOOOO
(lol i know that's wrong but that's how aya spells it and i'd like to be supportive XD)
Love you bitches <3

happy birthday biatch! you'reT WENTY.
stop clinging to people's legs nao. XD
loveyou x! <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I FINALLY TRIED ROCKBAND. (lol what a loser right.)
Thanks to Jeki and her blockmates. I had a sexy time. :)
Even though I ended up going to Jeki's room for some 'alone' sleeping time.
Even though Jeki's tita was there. Yeah. We tight. :\ haha!
And even though Jek broke some of my bones.
I'm so weak compared to a 6-foot-something person! :<
i love Jeki's face a lot. <333

i'd share my last cookie with my bff ^3^

2009-10-30T06:44:00.001-07:00

is the look of blank confusion and bliss in his eyes familiar? haha! LOVE! <3

love love love

2009-10-30T06:40:00.003-07:00

from cyworld

i want a lovably conceited boy. teehee. <3

look only at me

2009-10-30T06:40:00.001-07:00

i just LOVE his head.
... not physically though yeah his features don't hurt haha.
although if i was a girl i'd probably ..
... did i just say IF i was a girl? :| anyway.
i love what's IN his head. None of us really understand what's in it half the time
but the other half is GENIUS.
I idolize him thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much.

humility / day by day

2009-10-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

characters: JinWoo [GD], Hana [YeonHee],
MinWoo [DongHae], MiRa [ImDa], Nicky [TOP]
length: ..short :'D
OST: Haru Haru - Big Bang
This love - G-Dragon
download

warning: everyone who has read this story has had !@#%!@#$^!$%# aftershocks. According to me, this is best read after a heartbreak. According to them, it is not.
Who do you trust? :"D

....Eitherway this is a MUST READ OR I'LL EAT YOUR FACE. <3>

let's break the rules

2009-10-27T07:45:00.000-07:00

10 rules to dating a crazy arrogant...girl

2009-10-23T03:58:00.002-07:00

1. Don’t ask her to be feminine. [I'M TRYING TT.TT sometimes.]
2. Don’t let her drink over three glasses. She’ll beat someone up.
3. At a cafe, drink coffee instead of coke or juice.
4. If she hits you, act like it hurts. If it hurts, act like it doesn’t. [lol]
5. On your 100th day together give her a rose during her class. She’ll like it a lot. [yes.]
6. Make sure you learn fencing and squash. [...actually, effort counts over failure. haha <3]
7. Also, be prepared to go to prison sometimes.
8. If she says she’ll kill you, don’t take it lightly. You’ll feel better. [well not BETTER just..ready.]
9. If her feet hurts, exchange shoes with her.
10. She likes to write, encourage her. [read that? encourage me. :|]

- taken from the Korean movie My Sassy Girl (although the American version was nice too <3

2009-10-23T03:58:00.001-07:00

-------------------------

Major Floods +Traffic!!

2009-09-28T22:29:00.000-07:00

The F-KCF 20th Anniversary was canceled due to the storm that caused MAJOR flooding and traffic :/ Mum and I were stuck in the car for over 6 hours, and so were my dancers, but they were in a different car and were able to get home earlier haha. The event will probably be rescheduled but that's not really the main problem right now.

My family, friends and I are alright but I really hope everybody else is @.@ And I hope 이홍기, 이재진, 송승현, 최민환 and 최종훈 are back safely in Korea. Bad time to go here guys D: (see you should always consult with me first. lololol kidding)

Take care, people :)

2009-09-04T05:54:00.000-07:00

Lol I look like crap. Look at the size of those eyebags...THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT SLEEPING, EVER.
I can't believe my phone died again before the perf :
I only managed to take a picture haha.
I am SO bringing a camera on the next perf, I don't think I have a copy of any video of my past..what..five or six perfs? :))

2009-08-18T06:28:00.001-07:00

I had found this written in my diary. Actually there was only a short version, but it was so sweet I decided to rewrite it over 2 years later. :) Please view it as a literary work, and not an actual diary entry because like I said it's been years.

니가 없는 나는 없으니까 <3

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm not stupid.

If I keep loving you like this, I'll never find someone else, especially now that you've raised the bar so high.

No, CONCEITED, it's not because you're goodlooking, not because you're smart.

It's not because girls swoon at the sight of you, not because you're stylish.

Heck, you're not even really that good in singing, and let's face it, you can't really dance either.

But none of the good or the bad stuff matters, because what DOES is how you, yourself, made me feel.

. . . To be honest I don't even really remember who you are, who you were or who I was, anymore.

But I do remember how you made me feel.

What if I never find someone else, because of this, because of what I'm saying now?

They'll never understand, right?

Then again, I don't love you just because I'm hoping you'll keep your promise to come back.

Not because I found out too late how I really felt about you.

Not because everyone else knew about us before I did.

I'm not stupid

so let's just say I love you, and that's it.

I love you...in a different way from how I will love my future husband who is somewhere out there right now.

Someone who accepts that you'll always have a special place in my heart, no matter what, but that I'll always put HIM before YOU because I love him MORE.

and I WILL love him more.

So much more.

I will have children with that man (or woman? haha kidding.)

I will (attempt to) cook for that man, I will kick him off the bed every morning if he's too lazy to wake up, and I will sleep next to him every night without even a single thought of you.

And then maybe one day we'll bump into each other, and you can be happy for me and my future seobang, just as I'll be happy for you and your future wifey.

but for now, let's just say I love you.

just because.

[and..future SEOBANG! 약속할게 나 영원히 키스 너하고만 할게 :3]

yay friends

2009-08-18T06:16:00.000-07:00

got these from Pin's Jeki's and Mindy's tumblrs :)

one summer i'm an 'artist', and can't even draw a stick person the next.

2009-08-07T05:25:00.000-07:00

I'm abandoning my DA because I can't even draw anymore lol XD
This is because I'm in a much happier place, most of my friends are as well, and I have no one to be sad for anymore :"D Although some would argue that most of these are more 'happy' than 'sad' but trust me, that's my sadness. Sometimes I express my sadness through happiness ^_^

..i'm a crazy person, get over it. haha! <3

Dark Angel -leehyori- by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

egoism by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

ksy by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

that's when i love you -poem- by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

the dance by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

hekissedmylips...itasteyours by ~iiedeaii on deviant ART

some old works

2009-07-21T03:08:00.001-07:00

WISH [Olivia Lufkin English Cover]

"Baby the world can't stop us now, we'll turn it upside down
On your head I'll place my crown so you won't feel down
Baby your wish haunts my dreams, and as wonderful as it seems
there's just no telling if we end up in the same scene.
Baby I know it's coming around. It can take a while to be found
but i know it's worth the wait so I'll stick around
'coz lately my wish is haunting me and with your promise to stay with me
I have the strength to wait knowing this isn't just for me"
English lyrics by : Avii
Vocals : Avii
Genre : JRock
Original by Olivia Inspi'REIRA' Trapnest
download

Eat You Up (rap remix) - Dante Fawkes feat. Avii

rap lyrics by : Dante Fawkes
download

My Prayer
"I'll close my eyes and dream of you tonight
Like I've done each and every night
I pray for the strength to keep you in my life
I feel weak sometimes when nothing feels right

Every now and then, worry creeps into my head
I get the strongest urge to give up instead
of going through all these emotions
and having to go through all this dread

But when the little voice in my heart has had it's say
in an instant all the pain goes away
(just let it go) I hear you tell me

'It's alright, it's okay, you will find your way
though it seems right now like you're lost
Pray so you can go through day
Someday you'll smile looking back on your own yesterday

Maybe I'm afraid that this feeling could just fade
scared to find that all I have can be lost
Maybe I'm not meant to be part of this masquerade
I can't let it go

It's alright if these wounds don't heal
All this pain proves all this real
But when I feel overcome with grief
Please help me breathe,
give my weary heart relief

This is my prayer."

English lyrics by : Avii
Vocals : Avii
Genre : KPop
Original by BoA Kwon

:: live perfs ::

Tree - Real Emotion - Rock With You

"Even if they tried to hide, you know they'll hear our voices
Let's let them understand at their own different pace
What matters is that you're with me
Now tell me, do you want to rock with me?"

Rising Sun - Girls On Top remix

best day

2009-07-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

Hands Down
Dashboard Confessional

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near, stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury, or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
this moment we share together
and the streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.

With You
Jessica Simpson

The real me is a Southern girl
With her Levi's on and an open heart
Wish I could save the world
Like I was Supergirl
The real me used to laugh all night
Lying in the grass, just talking 'bout love
But lately I've been jaded
Life got so complicated

I start thinking about it
Almost forgot what it was like
To know when it feels right

But with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

With you
With you
With you
Now that I'm with you

You speak and it's like a song
And just like that, all my walls come down
It's like a private joke
Just meant for us to know
I relate to you naturally
Everybody else just fades away
Sometimes it's hard to breathe
Just knowing you found me

'Cause I start thinking about it
I almost forgot what it was like
To know when love feels right

'Cause with you
I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

With you
With you
With you

Come and take me
Love you, save me
Like nobody else
Now I can be myself with you

I can let my hair down
I can say anything crazy
I know you'll catch me right before I hit the ground
With nothing but a T-shirt on
I never felt so beautiful
Baby, as I do now
Now that I'm with you

6 Months
Hey Monday

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hand
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me your hand
So please, just take my hand.